I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
