she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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