You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
