At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
