shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
