whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
