we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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