Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Say something about gay babies.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
