She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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