Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
