the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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