Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
