make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
