yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
