'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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