I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
