Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you traded sex for a burrito?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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