If i come over, it means nothing
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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