Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
