They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize