well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize