I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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