Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
