so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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