i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
