Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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