it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
