This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
