nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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