We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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