DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
