we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
