sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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