I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
