Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she told me i tasted like america
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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