Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
