The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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