I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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