So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my shit smells like andre
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
