he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
