Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
