So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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