Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
