he wants to bone in the snuggie
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
