I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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