pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
