The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
