i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
