Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
