Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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