You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
