I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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