Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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